Thoughts
I messaged my friend Happy Birthday the other day; we don't talk a whole lot after high school.
He thanked me for being there for him, for being such a good friend. I didn't think I was that great. I don't know. It's making me think more about how I am now; what I do and what I dont do. And what I want to, but don't.
I should never apologize for trying to be a good person.
(Loosely, obviously. theres so much nuance; not every action is justified just because you had good intentions)
What I mean is that. Yeah, I've gotten to be much better than I was in high school, but I also lost some things. I obvsiously don't want to do things to the degree I did in high school, of course.
But so what if I make a fool of myself asking if someone's okay? I know that 99% of the time people lie, and I know that 99% of the time, when I offer help, there is nothing I can do. My experiences don't dictate how everyone or anyone else would feel, but I know that it *could* help or it *could* be even seen as remotely kind and it *could* feel like, at least for a moment, that someone is less alone than they felt a moment ago, even if the effect is fleeting. I just don't know. I don't. I feel alone a lot and i know id feel bad that i made someone worry, but maybe id feel just the tiny tiny slightest bit better knowing that someone cared even a little. I just dont know.